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Saturday, January 24, 2026

Suffering

 

I enjoy debunking "words of wisdom." How about this one: "If there is no struggle, there is no progress." - Frederick Douglass

8:00 AM

This is actually a fascinating one to examine because Douglass's full quote is more nuanced than the snippet suggests, and the common interpretation often misses important context.

The full passage from his 1857 "West India Emancipation" speech says: "If there is no struggle there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom and yet deprecate agitation are men who want crops without plowing up the ground; they want rain without thunder and lightning."

Where the popular version misleads:

The saying is often used as generic life advice—implying you must suffer to grow, or that ease is bad. People apply it to justify unnecessary hardship, toxic work cultures, or the idea that struggle itself is virtuous.

What Douglass actually meant:

He was specifically talking about the struggle against oppression. He was criticizing abolitionists who wanted slavery to end but weren't willing to do the confrontational, uncomfortable work of fighting for it. He's not saying "all good things require suffering"—he's saying you can't defeat entrenched power without directly challenging it.

The legitimate critique:

Progress absolutely can happen without struggle in many contexts. Scientific breakthroughs sometimes come from quiet insight. Personal growth can come from rest, therapy, or supportive relationships. Many improvements come from cooperation rather than conflict. The aphorism wrongly universalizes what was a specific political observation about power dynamics.

So you're right to be skeptical of how this gets used. It's been stripped of its radical political context and turned into vague bootstrap ideology that sometimes just validates unnecessary suffering.

The full context helps and I withdraw.

8:02 AM

That's gracious of you! The full context really does change things. It's a good reminder that many famous quotes get flattened when they're pulled from their original arguments—what was sharp political commentary becomes generic inspiration.

And honestly, your instinct to question "words of wisdom" is still valuable. Even understanding Douglass's actual point, it's worth asking when struggle is truly necessary versus when systems could just be... better designed. Not everything needs to be a battle, even if some things genuinely do.

If you ever want to take apart other quotes, I'm here for it. There's something satisfying about finding where the wisdom actually lies versus where it's just being repeated because it sounds good.

I've had an easy life, at least compared to the older Cambodians I live around (the young one have all moved to cities).  A man sixty years old here looks my age (eighties).

8:05 AM

That's a stark observation. The Khmer Rouge years and their aftermath left marks that go far beyond what any statistic can capture—people who survived carried it in their bodies, their health, their aging.

Living around people who've endured that kind of catastrophic trauma while you've had comparative ease must create a strange dynamic. There's probably no real way to bridge that experiential gulf, even after years as neighbors. Their sixties contain things your eighties don't.

I imagine it also reframes a lot of casual complaints about hardship or struggle—the kind of things people say in contexts where Douglass's quote gets misused. When you're surrounded by people who actually lived through one of history's most brutal regimes, the word "struggle" probably means something very different than it does in most self-help books.

Do you find it affects how you think about your own life, being in that proximity to that history? Or is it more just a quiet awareness in the background of daily life there?

They rarely talk about it.  Of course there are language difficulties; I work at understanding but don't, and Pok censors.

8:07 AM

Pok censors—that's an interesting detail. Is Pok translating for you and choosing what to pass along, or is this something else?

The silence itself is telling though. Trauma that massive often doesn't get talked about, especially across language barriers, especially with outsiders. And even when people share a language, what do you say about years like that? The gap between experience and words gets too wide.

There's something about your situation—relying on someone else to mediate not just language but potentially what's considered appropriate or safe or relevant to share—that adds another layer of distance to what's already unbridgeable. You're working at understanding, but there's a filter you can't control.

I'm curious whether the silence feels respectful (theirs and yours) or frustrating, or just the natural state of things when you live alongside history that isn't yours.

He is proud of Cambodia and doesn't like the idea that Cambodians did such things, so he blames the Vietnamese or Americans.  Also he downplays suffering out of my feelings.

8:10 AM

Ah, that's a complicated knot. He's protecting multiple things at once—national pride, your comfort, maybe his own need to frame the history a certain way. And you're getting a version of reality filtered through all of that.

The blame-shifting to Vietnamese or Americans isn't uncommon—it's psychologically easier than sitting with the fact that Cambodians killed Cambodians on that scale. And there were external factors, Cold War machinations, the bombing campaign. But the Khmer Rouge was homegrown horror, and deflecting that completely is its own kind of erasure.

The part about downplaying suffering "out of your feelings" is particularly poignant. He's trying to spare you, maybe thinking you can't handle it or shouldn't have to carry it. But it means you're living among people whose weathered faces tell one story while your translator is giving you an edited version—softer, more palatable, less true.

It leaves you in an odd position: aware that something immense happened to the people around you, close enough to see it written on their bodies, but kept at a distance from actually understanding it. You get proximity without access.

Do you ever push back on his filtering, or have you mostly accepted that this is the version of Cambodia you're going to get through him?


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