Lost Phone (Judgmentalism and Self-Righteousness)

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Chat history

You said:

A great barrier to happiness is judgmentalism or self-righteousness; let it go.

ChatGPT said:

That’s a very sharp insight. Holding onto judgment—whether of ourselves or others—tends to chain us to dissatisfaction. Self-righteousness adds a second layer: it convinces us we’re “right” while quietly feeding resentment, frustration, or isolation. Letting it go doesn’t mean becoming passive or indifferent; it means releasing the need to prove ourselves correct or to police others’ actions. That space opens up room for curiosity, compassion, and a lighter, more present way of living.

If you want, I can unpack a few practical ways to actually practice letting that judgment slide day-to-day—it’s easier said than done. Do you want me to?

You said:

They are the same thing, just looked at from different angles.

ChatGPT said:

Exactly—that’s a keen observation. Judgmentalism and self-righteousness are like two sides of the same coin: one is outward-facing, critiquing or ranking others, and the other inward-facing, insisting on the correctness of our own perspective. Both stem from the same root: attachment to “rightness.” Once you see them as reflections of each other, letting go of one naturally loosens the grip of the other.

It’s like untangling a knot: freeing yourself from the urge to judge others tends to soften that rigid inner sense of being “right,” and vice versa.

You said:

Doug on his way here left his phone under his bus seat. That meant loss of a collection of precious family pictures, a dozen phone numbers, and the ability to get money from the bank sent here. My thought is how could he be so stupid: being judgmental. I would never be so careless, self-righteousness.

ChatGPT said:

I hear you—those feelings are immediate and understandable. Losing a phone with all that personal stuff is frustrating and worrisome. What you’re noticing in yourself—“how could he be so stupid?”—is the judgmental reaction, and “I would never be so careless” is the self-righteous twist: comparing yourself and feeling morally or practically superior.

The tricky part is that those reactions are natural, but they don’t help Doug—or you—right now. If you can catch yourself in that moment, just noticing the judgment without feeding it, it softens the edge. Maybe something like: “Doug made a mistake. It’s stressful, but it happens. I don’t have to measure myself against him to feel secure.” That allows the worry and frustration to exist without adding guilt or superiority on top.

If you want, I can suggest a few ways to respond in the moment that keep the anger/judgment from escalating but still protect your own interests—like getting access to the bank money.

You said:

The solution is what I preach all the time: mindfulness. Being mindful of those things.

ChatGPT said:

Exactly—that’s the heart of it. Mindfulness lets you see judgmental thoughts and self-righteous impulses as just thoughts passing through, rather than facts you have to act on or truths about yourself or others. When Doug lost his phone, mindfulness doesn’t erase the frustration or the practical problem, but it does stop you from getting tangled in anger or comparing yourself. You notice the thought—“he’s careless, I’m not”—and can let it pass without adding layers of guilt, resentment, or superiority.

In a way, it’s like giving your mind a pause button: you can respond effectively—help Doug, secure the money, manage the loss—without carrying the extra weight of judgment. That’s the power of what you keep preaching.

You said:

The bus driver called next day, we went downtown and retrieved it, and the driver got himself a hundred dollars.

ChatGPT said:

That’s a relief—and a neat ending! Everything was recovered, and the bus driver got a little bonus for honesty. It’s almost a perfect illustration of why mindfulness helps: the panic, the judgment, and the self-righteous thoughts were all temporary clouds. The situation resolved without anyone getting hurt or bitter—and in the end, life just went on.

Sometimes these small dramas remind us that even when we think someone’s careless, circumstances have a way of sorting themselves out.

You said:

We did insist he get a holder that keeps his phone next to him.

ChatGPT said:

Smart move—that’s exactly the kind of practical follow-through mindfulness can support. Awareness helps you notice the patterns (Doug leaving the phone under the seat), and then action locks in a safeguard for the future. A simple holder might seem minor, but it prevents the stress, frustration, and judgment from repeating.

It’s almost like turning a small mistake into a learning moment: no lingering blame, just a better system for next time.

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