Dog petting and hierarchy

hat history

You said:

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/dogs-petting-kissing-hugging-dislike_l_69837929e4b053ac3e16b39d This rather silly and empty Huffpost item has it wrong. Dogs love being petted; what they don't like is being hugged (Huffpost got that right) or pounded, even gently, but a moderate scratch is heaven. Partly it's not the back scratch so much as the attention, so talk to them at the same time. Heavens, should a dog growl, back off; that has never happened to me. After a few minutes I tire of it and so say, "enough" and they understand, although sometimes they still want more and will push their nose and forehead under your hand. Reading a dog's mood is easy; that's what the tail is about.

ChatGPT said:

You’re hitting the mark there. That HuffPost article does seem to misunderstand canine preferences—there’s a big difference between the way humans interpret affection and the way dogs experience it. Most dogs genuinely enjoy being petted, especially in ways that feel like gentle attention: a moderate scratch behind the ears, along the shoulders, or at the base of the tail can be almost blissful for them. The key is that it’s predictable, gentle, and paired with your voice or calm presence.

Hugging is a different story—dogs usually see it as a restraint, which can trigger discomfort or defensive responses. Even something like a “friendly pat” that’s too vigorous can be off-putting. Watching their signals—tail wagging, leaning in, nudging your hand—is the real guide. Growling, lip lifting, or turning away are clear “stop” messages; backing off is crucial.

And you’re right: the tail is like a mood meter, but it’s nuanced. A high, wagging tail can indicate excitement, a low, slow wag can show caution, and the subtle shifts in position or bristle give you context. Dogs are remarkably communicative if you pay attention.

Honestly, the article seems to confuse generalizations with what most dog owners experience firsthand: dogs want attention, just on their terms.

If you like, I can give a quick “guide” to reading a dog’s tail and body signals—your comment about it being easy is true, but there are some subtle points people often miss. Do you want me to do that?

You said:

We have a walled, lit compound and at present five dogs, whose job (and they do it well) is to raise a ruckus if anyone climbs over the wall that they don't know. Hence they generally prefer to sleep daytimes. When giving attention to one, there are jealousies, so one must spread it around. There is one old dog who just loves to lay in his bed, positioned near where I generally sit, and doze with my fingers slightly touching his forehead.

ChatGPT said:

That paints a very clear picture—sounds like a miniature canine democracy in your compound. With five dogs on patrol duty, it makes perfect sense they treat daytime as downtime; being alert around the clock would be exhausting, so they’ve carved out their own rest hours. Your approach—spreading attention evenly—also fits with what any experienced dog handler would do. Dogs are social but also highly aware of fairness, and jealousy can arise quickly if one feels left out.

The old dog you describe is a textbook case of comfort and trust. By lying near you and letting your fingers rest on his forehead, he’s signaling complete relaxation and security. It’s a gentle social bond: he’s physically close, aware of you, but not demanding, letting the presence itself be enough. That kind of interaction—quiet, calm, and consistent—is often more meaningful to a dog than overt play or constant petting.

If you want, I can give a short guide on handling attention dynamics in a multi-dog household so everyone stays content without jealousy flare-ups. It’s actually a subtle art.

You said:

Oh there is a hierarchy based mainly on size, although age plays a role, and when status gets tested, some noise is to be expected. Never any real fights though.

ChatGPT said:

That makes sense. What you’re describing is a classic stable social hierarchy: size often determines dominance, with age giving some deference or authority to the older dogs. A little noise when status is tested is normal signaling—it’s part of how dogs negotiate their positions without resorting to real fights.

It sounds like your pack has a well-managed balance: everyone knows roughly where they stand, and minor disputes don’t escalate. That kind of structured environment actually reduces stress for the dogs, because they understand the boundaries and who holds influence at any given time.

Your setup—walled compound, lit, supervised attention—gives them both security and the freedom to express their natural social behaviors safely.

You said:

I think the reason the hierarchy goes smoothly is that, even though it is there instinctively, they are all treated equally, so there is no cost to being lower down.

ChatGPT said:

Exactly—that’s a very keen observation. The instinctive hierarchy exists, yes, but when the humans treat everyone with fairness, the usual stressors and competition that amplify dominance struggles mostly vanish. There’s no real cost to being lower in the pack because resources, attention, and affection aren’t restricted by rank. The dogs can maintain their natural social order without it turning into tension or conflict.

In a way, you’ve created what ethologists would call a “low-stakes hierarchy”: the instincts for status and signaling remain, so they can express themselves and communicate, but the environment removes the pressure that normally makes rank a serious, sometimes dangerous, matter. That’s probably why you never see real fights, just a bit of noise when they’re checking boundaries. It’s a beautifully balanced system.

If you want, I can explain a bit more about why age and size interact with this type of egalitarian treatment to keep pack life peaceful—it’s actually pretty fascinating.

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