I might comment a little about my life here, what I want, and what is probable. I long ago (when I think I realized all my education and certificates and so on was pretty much just to make money, and that while money is helpful, one needs more, and I look back on it as pretty much a wasted life. None of what I did has lasted -- even the company I worked for has disappeared.
That is the problem with trying to find purpose and so on in one's life -- nothing lasts, all is change, but it takes a lifetime to realize this.
So now I want peace -- at least an absence of major stress. Of course events conspire to deny this, but I do have (and have always had) hermit-ish qualities. I do like staying home, listening to music, reading books, watching a few films, and of course the social discussions with others on the internet and what my blog generates. My education did provide me with understandings of history, philosophy, mathematics, and science that enable me to appreciate these things, although I long ago realized I had nothing original to contribute.
We have made a difference in the lives of the people here, and they seem to appreciate it, at least as indicated by their behavior. Several children are in school who otherwise wouldn't be, needed medicine can be bought that otherwise wouldn't, the diets are better, and we provide a security blanket. Of course I don't talk about these things much with them, as I do not want to patronize. The same things happened with our families in Vietnam, although there we had a learning curve to go through and in the end the political system messed it all up.
I am, of course, a beneficiary here, too, as I get food and laundry and housekeeping and so on largely done for me, although to be sure there are lots of things one can only do for oneself..
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